Me. At least after what I've been through.
I faked an abortion last night.
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
Randomize
