At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
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