I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Randomize
