I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
