That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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