What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
Randomize
