Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
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