My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
How does it feel to date your dad?
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
Randomize