So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
Heybabeimwearingurpanties
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
he's gonorrhea incarnate
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Randomize
