so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
