3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
Randomize
