Jerry, you need to find god
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
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