allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
Randomize
