Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
Randomize
