she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
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