I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Randomize
