whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
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