Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
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