Your tits are I can't wait for
my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
Randomize
