I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
Randomize
