Just mADE A PArabola og urine
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
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