That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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