I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
Randomize
