Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
there is glitter all over my balls
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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