after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
