she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
