so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
