Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
Randomize
