A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
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