Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
Randomize
