Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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