listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
this boner is exhausting
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
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