A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
I need a burrito and a hug.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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