My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
I supernannyed him into submission
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