this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
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