considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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