I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Randomize
