You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Randomize
