Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
I CAN MOONWALK!
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Randomize
