I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
