i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
Randomize
