His pubic hair was longer than his dick
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
