I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Randomize
