apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
Randomize
