I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
Randomize
