I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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