I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
When did angry sex become our thing?
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
At least life still wants to fuck me.
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
Randomize
