Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
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