yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
Randomize
