There is no way he is gay with that hair.
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
There was a lot of him and a little penis
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
Randomize
