I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
Randomize
